Confused and More Confused

Today I have had to sit myself down to have a talk with me. Have you ever had to do that? I have become so confused about what I really want to do for a hobby when I retire. As I have surfed thru blogs I now realize that I just thought I could make a quilt top. I have seen block quilts of all shapes, sizes, color etc. I have seen painted quilts, stained glass quilts, block of the month quilts, friendship quilts, scrap quilts, stash buster quilts, baby quilts, wedding quilts, photo quilts, applique quilts, star quilts, quiltalongs, pieced art quilts. In the process of entertaining myself blog browsing I have become so confused. Then it got worse. I saw a friend on Facebook enjoyed monogramming as a hobby... I thought Hey! I forgot I was going to buy me a nice new sewing machine that was computerized and did monogramming and fancy sewing... before I retired. WHY? I don't know, I just always said I would. I have never had a new sewing machine until about 4 years ago and I bought one on Ebay, from Sear outlet for 75.00. It sews just fine, in fact I bought one for Brooke, when she shows an interest in it, I will help her learn to sew or turn her loose with it to learn. I emailed my friend asking about her hobby and machine and she sold me immediately on I had to have one. She invited me to come see hers and check it out, told me how good it was for stress relief and by the next day I was ready to go buy one. I called the shop in Alabama where I wanted to buy one, because it was close to where I will be when I retire. The girl there was really friendly and very nice....then I found out how much these machines cost. They were more than twice what I thought they would be. I am still shocked, there is no way I can justify this machine, other than I want it and I deserve it. However, that will not pay for it and its less than 4 months until I retire. I decided to forget that for now, because I know I will not have time to play with a new toy until fall. Then today I had about an hour to kill between a dental appointment and doctor appointment, so.......I decided I would go to the quilt shop here and just look at some fabric and crafty stuff, OH! MY! I was totally shocked, the fabric is wonderful, gorgeous, pricey and how does anyone ever make up their mind what fabric to get to make a quilt? I was totally in shock, wordless and glad I had no plans to purchase anything. I WANT IT ALL!!!!!!! The fabric, the sewing machine, a quilting machine and take every class I can find on quilting and monogramming. Its not like I want to have a business, I just want to piddle with it, not earn money to pay for it or earn money to pay bills. I guess time will tell. I just feel like I have had my head in the sand for 30 years and now its out and the sewing world moved on without me. I feel so behind in the sewing times, out of style. I guess I can only take comfort in being realistic and just try out retirement for the 1st year without making any major purchase, do some traveling and get back in touch with the world. There will be time to sew when I am more confined to home or need to stay closer to elderly parents.